Yesterday, I talked to you about the questions I used to ask myself about cheer parents before I had kids of my own. I’d get frustrated with parents and think, “This isn’t that hard. You need to get it together, guys.” But then I experienced parenthood myself, and I grew a huge heart with a lot of grace (admittedly too much at times) for the challenges parents face. Today, I’ll tell you how we try to help parents and combat the most common challenges you face as coaches on a daily basis.
How we solve tardiness
Yesterday, I told you all the things that would go wrong when I tried to get my kids off to their after school activities. Sometimes it was awful coordinating all the things from 3:30 to 7 p.m. on a nightly basis. However, I have a rule in my gym, and here’s what it looks like:
“Hey mom, we know some days are going to be harder than others to get her here on time. I’ll make you a deal. If you’re the reason you guys are late, just say so, and I’ll go with grace and not say another word. However, if you were sitting in the van for 10 minutes before your daughter because she sat on her phone until it was time to leave and then went to get changed and had to search the whole house for her shoes … well, then we’re going to handle the tardiness here at the gym.”
I’ve never, ever had a parent not support that—except once. The parent said, “She’s usually on time, and she’s not feeling well. Can we just give her some grace today?” (Of course, my answer was yes.)
First offense: The athlete sits down with their coach and talks about how it’s their responsibility to be on time to practice, and kids don’t have jobs, so there is no one holding them at work for a late-afternoon meeting making them late. Second offense: They apologize to their team publicly. Third offense: Their new report time for practice is 15 minutes early. They’ll help set up for practice and walk the cheer floor to make sure it’s clean and safe for our team. I have already had this conversation with a mini elite athlete—though for youth teams and above, usually the issue is solved just by telling them the first time that this is how we’ll handle it the next time.
How to solve practice clothes
I try to give them some options: 1) Would you like to buy a second set and leave it here in your cubby? We can alternate sets so they get washed, and you can bring it back on your tumbling night. 2) Do you have a special spot in your room where your practice clothes go so they don’t get mixed up with anything else? 3) Are you setting out your clothes the night before? My kids are 14 and 17. I still talk through what they need to lay out and prepare for school the next day.
I’ve told you before I have checklists of things to pack for vacations, conferences, competitions and even when we go on the boat. I’d rather teach them this habit than make them learn the hard way.
How to solve parents not picking up kids on time
In this situation, I usually have a heart to heart with the parents. Start with compassion. Let them know you totally get it. Things get crazy for you sometimes too. Then say, “How can I help?” Most of the time, someone isn’t going to reply with, “By letting my kid stay 45 minutes late.” They know it isn’t daycare, and the average person will understand you’re asking because you can’t keep the athlete there yourself. However, you’re teaching a parent how to problem solve. If they’re at a total loss, recommend they ask in the team’s BAND or Facebook group.
Every single time we’ve had an issue like this, someone else has volunteered to help. I even had an athlete once get a ride home every single practice for an entire season. What I knew is that Dad was diagnosed with cancer, but because of his leadership position at work, the family had requested we not tell anyone. To be honest, if it’s convenient enough for others, they are always going to be willing to help. My cheer teams represent about 12 different schools. I’ve even connected parents who had athletes on another team or in another class at the same time. Sometimes parents feel bad asking others, or they just don’t have the resources to know how to ask for help, but you do!
How we get them to read emails
This one is a little trickier. I send one email per week to parents. It’s our weekly email, and it almost always has important information. It’s essentially a running list of everything they need to know until they no longer need to know it (at which point, I delete it off the list). I highlight new information as well as any payments due in the next two weeks. Additionally, I send this on ActiveCampaign. There, I can see who has opened the email. I don’t view this every week, but if someone is regularly asking questions on the email, I can see if they’ve opened it. If not, I usually ask if there is a different email they’d like us to send it to. (That solves the problem most of the time.)
Sometimes, other parents will snapshot part of the email or even just refer them back to it. The big thing here is that some gyms are sending out two to three emails per week with little bits of information. This weekly email requires me to think much farther ahead (and currently we have Save the Dates on it that even go through June 2025!) You can find an example of my email here in PDF form.
Lastly, if I see my open rates are declining because it’s a busy week for parents, I’ll post in their Facebook group that the weekly email has gone out. It never hurts to remind people to go check their email. If you’d like a copy of the Canva template for that reminder graphic, PM me (or reply to this email).
How we keep them from overstepping
This is, of course, a tricky one. Parents who are involved are never the problem; it’s parents who don’t know how to be effectively involved. Parents who are involved are happy to bring snacks for the end of practice or make goodie bags for competitions. Parents who don’t know how to initiate that stuff or don’t have direction can look for opportunities in the wrong places sometimes.
So, the best way to keep them from overstepping is to provide opportunities for them to get involved. These opportunities always have boundaries. It can be volunteering to be a team rep for the season (by completing a form on the website that has the very clear guidelines of what is asked of reps and what is not their responsibilities). It can be participating in booster club or fundraisers. It can be assisting with, or hosting, a team bonding event.
Perhaps the team hasn’t done anything to give back to the community, and you’re looking for a parent who can coordinate walking dogs at the animal shelter or stocking shelves at the food pantry. There are a million ways you can effectively utilize parents in the gym who just want to be involved in their child’s sport. This requires you to think through, and sometimes systemize, the activity so there are clear boundaries. The good thing is once you systemize this stuff, it’s typically done for the future, so you don’t have to do it over and over.
Each of the solutions I listed above certainly comes at a price. It will take you time and money—an investment that is absolutely worth the increase in retention and minimizing drama you’ll see in your gym. It does often require you, the owner, to take a step back and view things from a calm, outside perspective. I find it challenging to coach every team, recognize these issues and not get a little upset myself. However, when I have a coach who is upset about athletes constantly being late or unprepared for practice, it’s a bit easier for me to stay calm and handle the situation on their behalf. That’s the owner (or director’s) job. Doing all this can help ensure you have a great season and will definitely make your life easier in the long run.
