This is definitely the time of year when you start to learn which parents will be good at all star and which will need a lot of extra attention. As an owner, it’s frustrating to see teams set back week after week by athletes who are perpetually late or even absent. As a coach, I’d venture to say, it’s even more maddening.
The Importance of Planning
I write a lesson plan prior to every practice. This lesson plan is adjusted if I have an athlete who will not be at practice or will have to leave early for one reason or another. For athletes who will be absent, I look at stunts they may not be in. Those are the ones we will focus on more heavily that week, whereas if someone is leaving early, we may move pyramid to the beginning of practice.
Many parents don’t think far enough ahead to realize the time and effort put into being a great coach. It requires practice, planning well in advance, routine review, and for those who don’t naturally remember routines easily, out-of-practice memorization.
So when I’ve put a lot of time into preparing for an effective practice just to have it go haywire from a parent who didn’t put a lot of time into planning their own schedule, it’s certainly frustrating.
Attempts to Solve Attendance Issues
Over the years, I have tried many approaches to remedy this. We’ve had team chats, one-on-one parent meetings and repercussions for tardies and absences. I had parents sign contracts saying their athletes wouldn’t miss for anything other than a graded academic event.
But none of these solved the problem—in fact, each seemed to create a new problem. Many of the parents, though they understood the purpose behind it, grew resentful of all-star cheer.
Sally missed grandma’s 100th birthday party for cheer practice, and we were unwilling to compromise. Suzy was benched for two games because she couldn’t leave our practice early for a soccer game. Sarah quit the team altogether when she realized she’d likely lose a flying spot due to a vacation.
When reading the paragraph above, some coaches may think that these events should never have been scheduled on those days in the first place. Others though, many of whom share a dual role as coach and parent, are probably in agreement that our sport is a tricky one to navigate as your children get older.
As a kindergartner, my child rarely missed practice. As a high school freshman on the varsity cheer team who also plays tennis and is in ROTC, my daughter will have a challenging season trying to meet all of her obligations this year. I’ve found many things over the years that didn’t work and ultimately led to frustration for the coach, athlete and parent, but I also found a few others that were truly valuable.
Proactive Attendance Strategies
We take a proactive approach to attendance at our gym by doing the following:
- Gather information on vacations and absences. On welcome nights (before the first practice of the season), we ask parents to complete a spreadsheet that has the athlete’s name and any upcoming vacations, even if they wouldn’t interfere with practice. I ask for all dates so we have some liberty in adjusting practices if, by chance, a Thursday practice where we are missing three athletes could be easily switched to a Saturday morning with everyone in attendance. After welcome nights, I take that spreadsheet and input it into a Google Calendar that our coaches and front desk have access to. That calendar is used for practice planning purposes.
- Weekly communication. We send a weekly email with all upcoming dates every Thursday at 10 a.m. Everything stays on the email each week until the date has passed. It currently includes the schedule for the final practices leading up to the Allstar World Championship 2025 and even our Florida send-off tentative date and time. This is used by our parents as a guide for what is planned in advance. Any changes to those dates or times would be made at least two weeks in advance and are highlighted in the email. I know some people plan way ahead (I am one of them), so once the date is put out, I highly avoid changing it. Once the dates are out, parents have a few days to notify me if their child won’t be able to make it. If they don’t, then we plan for them to be there.
- Using team reps. We use our team reps to educate new parents and spread the word. I am coaching a mini elite team this year. My attendance was rough over the summer, but every date was clearly provided on the calendars they submitted … they just didn’t align with one another. So, last week, I asked my two team reps to please communicate the importance of full team practices for the next 8-10 weeks leading up to showcase. Of course, I will do this as well, but it comes across differently sometimes from a veteran parent. It’s not their job to handle absences or have conversations with those who are frequently late; that’s my job. I simply ask them to help me by letting the parents know where our routine is in comparison to other teams and previous seasons.
- All-Star 101 parent meeting. Next week, I’ll host All Star 101, a parent meeting where I communicate our goals for the season, information on upcoming competitions and tell parents what the hair and makeup should look like for the season. During this meeting, I’ll explain why attendance is so important and what our coaches do outside of practice to prepare our teams. Telling people “why” often is the most valuable thing you can do.
- Plan around school events. Back in July, I asked parents to submit their “Meet the Teacher” nights if they would conflict with practices. This month, I’ll ask parents to submit any fall band performances, art nights and the date for the fall sports banquet. I don’t want these kids to miss out on these things—graded or not. Last year, my daughter won first place and second place in an art fair. I was too worried about her missing practice at the gym to let her miss for the art fair. In hindsight, I have no idea what we worked on that practice, but I still have her artwork hanging in my office. Think about the school calendar. What’s coming up, and what can parents submit to you in advance? If I know I’ll be missing a couple kids for a band concert, then we can focus on dance or standing tumbling that night. Those athletes may have to pay for a private lesson to get caught up and synchronized with their teammates, but that is the tradeoff for getting to do it all.
Balancing Cheer and Life
When parents have to decide in the spring if they’re going to allow their child to return for the next season, don’t make them question if it’s all too much. Show them you’re proactive about making sure you have effective practices, but also show them you understand cheerleading isn’t all there is to life.
Up until freshman year, my daughter really hasn’t played many sports outside our gym. She did one season of competitive swim, but that was about it. I had no idea I’d enjoy watching tennis or high school cheer as much as I do. In fact, I’m sad that her current schedule doesn’t allow her more opportunities within ROTC too, as I think she’d enjoy it, and I’d love watching her serve our community.
In my gym, sophomore year is the most common time for athletes to not return to all star. As the mom of a freshman, I get it. It requires a lot of coordination to make it all happen and get her everywhere she needs to be, all while staying on top of academics. But I also believe what we do at the gym is important, and I want other parents to see that too. I want them to see that we can handle it all with proper time management. I believe being a proactive gym owner and supportive coach will be the ultimate key to long-term retention in my program.
