We’re in the thick of competition season, and that often means one thing: People are stressed. We’ve got back-to-back competition weekends with extra practices scheduled in between, travel and that’s not even to mention the school and other extracurricular activities many of our athletes (and our own kids) participate in. So, when you’ve scheduled a travel event and need to get in some extra work on the pyramid, or someone is sick at the last minute and you need your team to gather, it’s hard to hear, “Sorry, we already have plans.”
I coach three teams this season. I am in the thick of it with you. While I have a large gym, my all star program has just recently grown in size. Less than five years ago, I had just 28 all star kids in my cheer program. The rest were all recreational tumbling, gymnastics and ninja athletes. I remember the struggles when something happened like an injury or last-minute flu. We didn’t have a lot of crossover options. In fact, my co-owners’ daughter became an incredibly skilled athlete as she was often thrown into routines last-minute as a fill in. Today, my youngest gets that experience as a 2010-baby who can cross over to all my elite teams in an emergency.
A few weeks ago we were in Dallas. We had traveled 8 hours for this event, and you can imagine our stress when a girl who was a crossover on two teams had a spiked fever and was rushed to urgent care. We had very little time to figure out what we were going to do, but I can tell you…Here’s what I didn’t do:
I didn’t call all the parents and tell them to cancel their plans and meet us early for an emergency practice.
Here’s why.
They traveled 8 hours for this trip. For many of my families, this was a much-deserved break from real life. It was a chance to visit museums, 4-story malls, the Fort Worth stockyards and the real reason we traveled that far…Buc-ees.
You see, I read threads often where owners and coaches are angry that parent scheduled parasailing, swimming with dolphins, Vegas shows, amusement parks and beach trips while away for a competition. I also see the comments suggesting coaches remove athletes from a stunt group or pyramid because they can’t make an emergency practice due to these fun activities.
But we need to remember something really important here. The majority – I’d venture to say 95% – of our athletes are doing this sport because they enjoy it. In fact, they enjoy all parts of it. My kids are now 12, 16 and 17, and they all still cheer. You know what they look forward to (in the following order):
- Traveling and the fun things we do while traveling
- Hide and seek in the hotel (yep…my kids are teenagers and this is their favorite thing to do)
- Getting to do those things with their friends who also are traveling
- The competition itself
- Winning
I can poll the other athletes in my gym, but I don’t need to. I know (mostly from our Coffee & Conversation feedback sessions every year) that my kids will remember the fun they had with their friends and family, and the places they visited more than how they placed at an event.
So why then, are we upset when parents don’t want to cancel their tickets to a show or amusement park because the coach decided the team needed an extra practice? This is their opportunity to make memories in this sport with their kids. Just because you’re traveling for cheer doesn’t mean that’s the only thing on your mind. I’d say I’m almost too far in the other direction. My cowboy boots were packed for Dallas long before my daughter’s cheer uniform!
The memories I’ve made with my kids, my athletes and my coaches on these trips are things I’ll remember forever. We make it a point to make memories.
- We practiced our hip hop routines on the beach in Virginia with an old-school boom box when we went to US Finals in 2015.
- We did a Hollywood bus tour and ate at some fancy restaurants with a bunch of wild animals (my tiny team) in matching dresses in 2014 when we attended the Amazing Championship.
- We held alligators on a fan boat in the Bayou in New Orleans when we attended The One in 2016.
- We parasailed in Daytona when we went to Summit in 2017.
- We took a limo up and down the Vegas Strip with our junior hip hop team when we went to Jamz in 2020.
- We got matching coaches’ tattoos and visited Gatorland at All Star Worlds last year.
I have literally no idea where we placed at any of those competitions. I could probably look it up or look at the dates on the trophies, but none of that matters. What matters are the memories we made. We take these trips as an opportunity to sneak in a little vacation while doing something we love.
I once had a mom tell me, “Norelle only does cheer because she loves hotels.” Norelle did cheer 8 years because she liked cheer and LOVED hotels. I’m not mad about that. I’m glad we were able to give Norelle’s family a chance to travel as long as we did.
When my Senior 2 struggled in Dallas a few weeks ago, I knew why. I put my daughter in and taught her the routine in an hour. We moved a base back to a spot she hadn’t done since last summer. We had a flyer throwing up and sleeping on the floor in warm ups because she had been so sick that day. Other coaches may have seen our sloppy stunting and pyramid deduction. They may have even thought, “Wow, what a mess.” But I didn’t. I saw that team and said, “Look how resilient they are. Look how they adapted. Look how they persevered through adversity. Those are amazing kids.”
We didn’t win. I don’t think I’ll remember that part five years from now. I may remember how proud I was of them for what they accomplished, but if the routine hit or not was actually irrelevant at that point.
So, if you think your kids should be solely focused on cheer during travel events, I’m here to tell you – it’s a work trip for you – not for them. Don’t project your stress and need to win onto your gym parents or athletes.
Give grace. Get perspective. Find out what’s most important to the MAJORITY of your gym families and serve them. Push your pride deep down so it doesn’t factor into your decisions. If I see your teams fall out on the floor and look like a hot mess, I am a mature coach. I realize you probably faced some challenges that day or that week leading up to competition. I am not judging your team. But even if I were – it doesn’t matter. Do what’s right for your kids so you can keep them for the long haul.
Finally, I’ll say this. Plan ahead. For All Star Worlds, we know people want to travel. We’ve already canceled practices the week before and after ASW so people can take the time to travel. We released the day and projected time frame they will practice. They know that’s the plan and if I decide at the last minute an extra practice would benefit them I’m not going to get mad if they tell me they aren’t available due to other plans. Build a mutual respect with your families so if you ever really do need something, they’re gracious and understanding toward your needs as well.
